|Me:||mum can i go out with my friend|
|Mum:||no beta your dad's uncles neighbours cousins cats goldfish wont like it|
writing adult emails is awful
hi [name of person],
this formatting is making me uncomfortable but I have to tell you something / ask you something that is vital to my career as a student.
I re-read and edited that sentence for an hour, but you’ll probably just glance over it for half a second.
- purposefully forget their names
- any time yr talking about anything outside the realm of COD, energy drinks, or football, pause and giggle and say “oh, but sorry - you wouldn’t know anything about this, right? we can change the subject”
- extension on #1: call him by the name of another boy w the same hair color as him. when he protests, laugh and act like he’s trying to trick u
- "hold this." stop acknowledging him for the remainder of the encounter until it is time to collect you bag/purse/coat/etc
- "sorry, what? i wasn’t listening" rinse and repeat
- tilt yr head. make a cute face. “awwwwww”
"why are you wearing jeans? it’s SUMMER"
i make eye contact with you. never breaking my stare i reach down and pull off my pants to reveal my skeleton legs. the pits of hell open up and swallow you whole. maybe next time u will learn to mind ur own business